Friends

“I'm not my son's friend, I'm his parent!”

I've heard this several times recently and it makes me cringe. Do so many of us not know what the meaning of the word 'friend' is? Here's what I found when I looked it up on TheFreeDictionary.com.

A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus "friend" and am "I love" is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend" and phile "I love."

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

When I read these I believe I DO want to be my child's friend. Maybe what parents need to do is model what a good friend truly is.

The bible says in Corinthians 13:4-7:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And if “friend” means “to love”, shouldn't that scripture apply to a friend?

I think people are mistaking a friend for what kids typically find in schools. These are not friends, they are acquaintances. People you are forced to associate with in a school or work situation are not necessarily friends. A friend is something completely different.

A friend is someone that encourages and builds you up. When you tell a friend your dreams and goals, they help you achieve it, not squash them with negatives. When you are sad and lonely, a friend takes you out for ice cream and lets you vent your frustration without judging you. He stops you when your sadness or anger gets out of control and starts to hurt others. When you've had a rough day, a friend says “Let's go get a drink and listen to some great music!”, not “Let's get completely wasted and cause trouble.” Most of all a friend makes you be a better you than you would be without them.

I hope and pray every day that my sons see me as a friend and not an authority over them. I hope they find me to someone to confide in, to trust, and to love in return.